The US is suing Apple, claiming it dominates the smartphone market and stops competition.

Ah, the great titan Apple finds itself entangled yet again in the web of legal disputes. In a groundbreaking lawsuit, the US government has dared to challenge the seemingly benevolent monopoly of the iPhone overlords. Accusations fly like confetti at a tech-savvy carnival, with claims that Apple, in its divine wisdom, has “locked in” customers and developers, sparing them the inconvenience of choice. How dare they ensure their loyal subjects remain tethered to their kingdom! One might almost admire their audacity in allegedly thwarting potential threats and ensuring that only the most loyal subjects bask in the glow of the sacred green bubbles of iMessage.

But fear not, for Apple, in its infinite benevolence, vows to vigorously defend itself against these baseless allegations. How dare anyone question the integrity of a company that generously allows users the privilege of paying exorbitant fees for the simple act of processing transactions through Apple Pay! It’s not like they’re squeezing every last penny out of their loyal followers while ensuring the competition stays at arm’s length. Surely, their motives are as pure as the unblemished sheen of a freshly polished iPhone screen.

As the legal battle unfolds, one can only marvel at the spectacle of it all. Will justice prevail, forcing Apple to reconsider its divine right to dictate the smartphone landscape? Or will the almighty empire of Cupertino continue to reign supreme, casting aside dissenters like mere bugs in its meticulously curated ecosystem? Only time will tell, but rest assured, the saga of Apple versus the world promises to be a riveting tale of power, privilege, and the unyielding pursuit of profit.