Elon Musk, known for his ambitious visions like colonizing Mars, announced this week that his Neuralink division has successfully implanted its first wireless brain chip into a human.

Ah, the marvels of Neuralink, because nothing says “saving the human race” like shoving a coin-sized brain device into your skull. I mean, who needs non-invasive methods or common sense? We’ve been playing with electrodes in cats since the 60s – clearly, Musk is just reinventing the wheel here. And let’s not forget the groundbreaking achievement of monkeys playing Pong with their thoughts. Move over, evolution!

Sure, Neuralink got FDA approval for human trials, and someone is now the proud owner of a brain implant, but details are as scarce as Elon’s humility. Meanwhile, Synchron, backed by Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos, has already implanted its stent-like device into ten lucky guinea pigs – I mean, patients.

But hold on, because Elon’s master plan goes beyond curing paralysis; it’s all about “human/AI symbiosis,” a term he casually drops like it’s the secret sauce to our existence. Forget ordering a pizza; we’re talking about communicating with computers at speeds faster than a professional typist – because that’s what the world needs, right? And who cares about practical applications when you can potentially replay memories? “Black Mirror” episode, anyone?

Of course, experts are skeptical. Why risk brain surgery just to order takeout? It’s not like people have better things to do. And let’s not forget the delightful thought of getting a new brain chip every five years – the Nokia of the future, folks!

But fear not, Musk has a grander vision – protecting humanity from the existential threat of AI. Because, you know, nothing says “safety” like merging our brains with machines. So, buckle up, because with a high-bandwidth brain-machine interface, we’re all in for the ride of a lifetime. Who needs caution when you can have “species-level importance”? Neuralink, the true pioneer in sarcasm-worthy innovations.