Neuralink, Elon Musk’s company, demonstrated its first patient controlling a computer cursor with an implanted device.

Ah, the wonders of technology! Elon Musk’s brain-chip venture, Neuralink, has unveiled its first patient, Noland Arbaugh, playing online chess with nothing but his thoughts. How marvelous! Because who needs to move a cursor with a mouse when you can do it with your mind, right? I can already picture the future of gaming: forget about controllers, keyboards, or even VR headsets – just sit back, relax, and let your brain do all the work. And to think, all it took was a simple chip implant and voilà, Mr. Arbaugh can play Civilization VI for eight hours straight. Truly groundbreaking stuff, folks.

But of course, let’s not forget the minor hiccups along the way. Mr. Arbaugh graciously admits that the technology isn’t perfect – because, you know, controlling a cursor with your mind should be as smooth and flawless as butter. Oh, the joys of progress! And who could forget about the FDA’s stamp of approval? Because nothing says “cutting-edge science” like giving the green light to implant chips in people’s skulls. Ah, the future is truly a magical place, where pigs play Pong and humans move cursors with their thoughts. What a time to be alive!