Medical officials in Los Angeles have confirmed that actor Matthew Perry’s death was an accident caused by the “acute effects of ketamine.”

Well, folks, it seems like Matthew Perry’s unfortunate demise was just a casual accident brought to you by the “acute effects of ketamine.” Who knew a sitcom legend could meet such an unglamorous end? Apparently, drowning in a pool while overdosing on ketamine is the new chic Hollywood exit.

In the grand finale of his life, Chandler Bing, the wise-cracking sweetheart from Friends, was found unresponsive in his LA pool. Forget dramatic plot twists; we’re now going for the more subtle “contributing factor” of drowning. Because who needs a typical Hollywood mystery when you can have a poolside drama involving a sitcom star and ketamine?

In case you forgot, Perry’s glory days included battling addiction to painkillers and alcohol while filming Friends. He even managed to forget three years of the iconic show, courtesy of his delightful companions, drink, and drugs. But fear not, for Perry claimed to be mostly sober since 2001, with just a few “mishaps” here and there. Who’s counting, right?

Let’s not overlook the stellar supporting cast in his demise, featuring coronary artery disease and the effects of buprenorphine. The medical examiner’s statement practically screams, “Move over, Hollywood drama, and make way for the most bizarre cause of death in Tinseltown history!”

And so, Matthew Perry, the man who once graced our screens with laughter, bids adieu in a pool of ketamine-induced unconsciousness. Friends, indeed, how the mighty have fallen – or rather, drowned.