An American therapist, currently facing a potential 10-year sentence, is accused, as per court documents in New York, of providing banned drugs to a male British Olympic athlete.

Oh, how delightful! In the latest episode of “Olympic Shenanigans,” Eric Lira has gracefully stepped into the spotlight as the first defendant charged under the oh-so-new and groundbreaking Rodchenkov Anti-Doping Act. Give that man a round of applause! What’s his claim to fame, you ask? Well, he’s been caught supplying performance-enhancing drugs to Olympic athletes, making him a real trailblazer in the world of competitive sports.

But wait, there’s more! According to the sentencing document from the Southern District of New York, Lira wasn’t content with just one country – he globetrotted across the United States to deliver his magical concoction of PEDs to athletes from Nigeria, Switzerland, and, drumroll, the United Kingdom. It’s like a doping world tour, and we’re all just spectators in this riveting game of pharmaceutical roulette.

The unnamed British competitor (who shall remain incognito for added suspense) got a special mention. Lira apparently met with this mysterious athlete multiple times in the scorching summer of 2021, generously providing them with performance-enhancing goodies. How thoughtful! It’s heartwarming to see the spirit of international collaboration in the world of doping.

But fear not, dear readers, Lira wasn’t alone in this grand spectacle. Two American coaches joined the party, working hand in hand with Lira to ensure athletes from Nigeria, Switzerland, and the UK were well-equipped with their dose of “fair play.” Because who needs a level playing field when you can have a doping extravaganza to spice up the Olympics?

In the grand tradition of sporting scandals, the Rodchenkov Anti-Doping Act has truly marked a “watershed moment for international sport,” as US attorney Damian Williams so eloquently put it. Bravo, Lira! Bravo, indeed.